Never Knows Best

…and I believe her. The problem is, she doesn’t mean it the way I do when I tell her the same. She loves me in the sense that I’m her best friend here in college, and I’m glad for that fact. Unfortunately, what started as caring for someone who needed it, turned into a disaster in the form of me falling in love with her.

I met her through a fraternity that I used to be in. She was dating another guy in the house at the time; I didn’t really care for him, and I never spent any real time with her back then. As time passed, I started to pick up on the fact that he was treating her badly, acting more like a father than a partner. He forbid her from drinking, smoking, partying; even from having too much fun, it seemed. They would get into fights every so often, then have a few days where they’d be upset with each other, and then they’d make up. You know, a pretty typical routine, all things considered.

One day, she texts me and asks if she and a couple of her girlfriends can come over and smoke with me. At this point in time, I was infamous throughout the house for smoking; if it ever happened, it happened in my room. Anyhow, I told her that I’d be happy to smoke with them and that they were welcome to come over whenever. They showed up a little later and we began smoking, talking, joking, and really just getting to actually know each other for the first time. The topic of her relationship came up somehow, and the more she talked about it, the more she became upset, to the point of crying. I remember that even then, I couldn’t stand to see her cry.

She talked about how much she hated the fact that her boyfriend constantly loomed over her, telling her what she could and couldn’t do. I told her that I agreed, and that if she really wanted anything to change, she would have to tell him she was going to live her life how she wanted; if he had a problem with it, they would have to break it off. Honestly, she probably already knew that at the time, but sometimes it takes some support from others to really take action.

Time passed, and they eventually broke up, right before summer came around. I went home for the summer to make some money and see the family while she stayed here in our college town. We talked more and more with each other all summer until I came back this August. It wasn’t until then that I realized I was starting to develop feelings for her, and it was then that my life became complicated…